I’m going to get a little personal here, but the main reason for me to write in my blog is for me and if you enjoy it then that is just an added blessing and gift.
It would be easy to look back on this last year with distain and I get that, it was a tough year. I have been thinking lately and wondering, what if I look for the blessings? What if I look for the lessons? What if I look at this year differently?
I was watching a program last night and someone said something that caught my attention, it was about how we were placed here at this time for this time. (This came from a program that was not a Christian program.) It echoes the thought that has been rolling around in my head for the last couple months. The phrase “For such a time as this” has been echoing in my mind.
I have recently been thinking about the gifts I have been given during this tough time, I don’t want to downplay how tough this year has been, but I want to refocus and operate under the assumption that God is good all the time. I want to look for the gems, for the gifts.
One of my favorite verses is Psalm 46:10; “Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations; I will be exalted in the earth.” Wow think about that – I don’t know about you, but I feel like my life had become almost frantic, there never seemed to be time to just be still and reflect. Look the gift God gave the whole world at the same time. A chance to be still, I did not recognize the gift in the beginning. I chaffed against it, I was anxious and depressed. When I finally stopped fighting against it and relaxed into it, I began seeing the blessings. I have had a rather traumatic few years, Jason’s passing and then the cancer. My soul and my mind were wounded. This forced quiet time has been a time of healing. Then there is Jerimiah 29:11 & 12 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. Just think about these verses. I want to take time each day and reflect on the truths found in both of these verses. God calls me to be still, and to call on him.
Some of the many gifts I have been given the year are mental health, physical health, spiritual health. I have not been this well in a long time. I am now off all mental health medications; I have been on an anti-depressant since right after Jason passed. Then after my cancer treatments I was on an anti-anxiety medication. I have been able to ditch both of those, this quiet year has given me the time to really work on these areas of my life. I have lost 50 pounds, I have the time, the mental energy to work on this part of me. My spiritual life has grown, I feel calmer, I react to things differently.
I want to enter this new year with the resolution to carry this newfound calm close. I want to protect the quiet time even as life gets back to a more “normal”. I want to remember everyday that God knows his plan for me, and he is calling me to be still and call on him. His promise is that he will listen, I don’t know about you but that thrills my heart. I want to enter this new year with gratitude, grace and kindness as my banner.
The Musings of a Life 