Category Archives: beach

Broken

 

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I entered this new year with great dreams of running a few 5ks this summer. My foot repaired and healing well, my husband willing to give running a good try. Big dreams. Big goals.

I sit here this morning a little broken, physically for sure, and fighting the mental brokenness that often comes with physical. Looking for the lessons that are sure to be lurking in the corners of broken.

I am drawn to broken seashells, there is beauty inside the shells that can not bee seen until they are broken enough to reveal what is inside.

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Colors and patterns hidden inside. Beauty missed if left intact. I want to be like that in this season. I want light to shine into my corners and reveal gratitude instead of bitterness. Broken with grace is hard work, it is easy for me to fall into the habit complaining.

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If I am honest, I am a little jealous when I see people jogging. I am missing walking on the sand by the sea. I am not fond of crutches, (I tamed that down a lot 🙂 ). I am an active person that finds it extremely hard to sit still for too long. This season of stillness has been difficult but there are lessons to be learned. I want to learn them, I want to use my broken to find beauty hidden in my corners.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Psalm 51:17

 

Rich (Stories from behind the cardboard signs)

Solitary

He was leaning on his bedroll, a small piece of cardboard folded up next to him.

I watched him from a distance.

I imagined him as a gentle person at peace with himself.

His face held a slight grin as he watched the sea.

The sea bird sitting next to him stayed for as long as I watched.

Homeless? Probably.

Poor? Not by the look on his face.

Stories from Behind the Cardboard Signs

A Man and his dog

_MG_2290He slowly walked past, briefly met my eyes with a nod. His shoes held together with duct tape, holes in the knees of his pants, and a ratty backpack. He whistled a familiar tune.

“Great is Thy faithfulness!”
“Great is Thy faithfulness!”

Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above,
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Best of 2012

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I read a blog this week that challenged me, The Best of Everything, I was challenged to remember and list the best of this last year. Instead of resolutions, I want to take the time to list the best, the blessings. It is so easy this time of year to focus on what we want to change , what could be different.  I would like to challenge you also to make a list of the best of 2012, before making that list of what could be better, and what you want to change, make a list of what was good, amazing, the best of 2012. I would love it if you would post a few of them in the comments area of this post.

Thinking back on the year, some of my best’s are:

Finding Jason’s notebooks of writings and poems.

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Times spent with Chelsey, we share a love of yarn and knitting, this is so special to me.

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Weekends away with Tim.

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Our trip to Minnesota, our trip to Monterey, CA.

Completing the knitting of  the most complicated sweater I have ever attempted. (And it turned out!)

My attic space, where I create, ponder and write.

But the best of the best has to be the healing that my heavenly father has allowed for me. Yes, it still hurts, yes there is more healing that needs to happen. Yes the scar is still tender and apt to tear open. But, did you notice? I said scar, not open gaping wound. I have a scar where the wound was. I am healing. That is my best of the best this year.

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So I am piling up a memorial in my mind of the best of the best of 2011. I carry this memorial close to my heart as I enter the new year.
(Joshua 4:4 These rocks will always remind our people of what happened here today.)

What are some of yours, your bests of the bests?

I am standing

Yesterday was the memorial service of a woman that I did not know, Amy Britton. She is the daughter of Mike Britton, a teacher I had at Salem Academy. She passed from a heart attack, she was young. I am sitting here and tears fill my eyes and roll down my face, as I think of this family waking this morning with out this daughter, sister, mother and friend. My heart goes out to them, my prayers go up for them.

Feelings come rushing back to me as I remember the shock, the pain, and the numbness of those first weeks and months. I realize just how merciful God is in the numbness, letting us feel things slowly as we can handle it. I think now that if I did not have the numbness and I had felt everything, comprehended everything, I would have died of a broken heart. God is good this way, metering out the “stuff” as we are ready so that it does not overwhelm us.

When the waves of realization and comprehension come crashing over me, they do not overwhelm me. They do not knock me down.  They may push me a little off balance, but I stand, even if a little wobbly, I stand.

I am standing.

I stand because I know, with out a doubt, God is good – all the time.

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning . . .       Lam. 3:22

Thankful Heart

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the
LORD in the land of the living. PSA 27:13.

This is the month we focus on being thankful, and I have so many thing to be thankful for:

Every year I start off being thankful for my kids, they have been such a blessing to me. They grew to be amazing adults that love God, and serve him. This year is no different.

I am so thankful for Chelsey, she is an amazing women of God. Wonderfully independent, and a good friend to many.

I am thankful for the 30 years I had with Jason, he was full of love for God and people. It was so evident during his time of illness and then at his memorial service, how many people he touched. I miss him terribly. I am still coming to grips with the fact that he is really gone home.

I am so thankful for my amazing husband, who loves me just as I am. He has been my rock.

I am thankful for the example of a strong, God fearing woman in my Grandmother.

I am thankful for my family, brothers, sister-in-love, nephews and nieces, and step mother that were such a great help during this last year. Without them them these last few months would have been so much harder.

I am thankful for the two “step” kids that came with Tim, Katie & Scott, they often give me great laughs.

I am thankful for amazing friends given to me, that have surrounded me with love and caring.

I am thankful for a great job, with wonderful people who have been so understanding during this last year.

I am thankful for the everyday beauty that surrounds me and reminds me that God cares for even the smallest of details.

I am thankful that even when things are hard, and when they are not, that God is good, all the time.