Today I am sitting in Jason’s garden. I have not done that much this year, it has made me too sad. This has been a difficult season for me, I am still trying to put my finger on why. Maybe I need to stop trying to figure out why and just let it be. The sadness is deeper this year, harder to shake off. Maybe there is no why maybe it just is.
Psalms 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds
Psalms 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Tomorrow is the 4 year anniversary of the day my world changed forever.
Time is a funny thing, it can seem like forever while feeling like it just happened yesterday.
Grief is a strange companion, mostly polite and staying in a distance so as not to bother life’s everyday. But some days it is demanding and will not be pushed away. (Read more about my thoughts on grief here)
But this truth I hang on to, God is good all the time.
I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Psa 27:11
I remain grateful and feeling blessed for the privilege of mothering this boy turned man. I thank God for the time we were given the last month of his life. I praise God knowing I will see him again.
And then I smile at the mental picture of Jason, praising God for eternity.