This was my first view when I walked out side this morning. It made me think of angel wings. Today, two years ago, my son, my first born, woke up in heaven.
I mourn for me, for my daughter, for our family, but rejoice for him. I rejoice in the fact that I will see him again, someday. Some days, that does not feel like enough, I would love to talk to him, hug him, just be with him for a bit. I would love to tell him one more time that I love him, it occurred to me this morning that those were the last words we spoke to each other. In the end, it is enough. It’s enough to have the hope of heaven and the reunion that will take place.
I carry a strange mix of emotions, a deep sadness and pain, for the loss, but at the same time an amazing peace. I take comfort in the little reminders all around me that God loves me, he knows my pain. I feel his love through angel’s wings in the sky, hummingbirds buzzing my head, the sounds of sparrows quarrelling over who knows what, family and friends that surround me, the beautiful smile of my daughter, and the warmth of my husbands embrace.
Even though I miss Jason more than I can say, I have a peace, a deep peace that is deeper than the pain, and at the end of the day I know with all my heart that God is good all the time.