I am standing

Yesterday was the memorial service of a woman that I did not know, Amy Britton. She is the daughter of Mike Britton, a teacher I had at Salem Academy. She passed from a heart attack, she was young. I am sitting here and tears fill my eyes and roll down my face, as I think of this family waking this morning with out this daughter, sister, mother and friend. My heart goes out to them, my prayers go up for them.

Feelings come rushing back to me as I remember the shock, the pain, and the numbness of those first weeks and months. I realize just how merciful God is in the numbness, letting us feel things slowly as we can handle it. I think now that if I did not have the numbness and I had felt everything, comprehended everything, I would have died of a broken heart. God is good this way, metering out the “stuff” as we are ready so that it does not overwhelm us.

When the waves of realization and comprehension come crashing over me, they do not overwhelm me. They do not knock me down.  They may push me a little off balance, but I stand, even if a little wobbly, I stand.

I am standing.

I stand because I know, with out a doubt, God is good – all the time.

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning . . .       Lam. 3:22

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