There is a feeling I get, that I can’t identify, when I have survived a milestone.
There are so many emotions wrapped into it, I am not sure it has a name.
Relief . . . that I got through it with out a melt down. I don’t mean crying, by melt down I mean having to be carted off some where and medicated. 🙂
Thankfulness and gratitude . . . for friends and family that have been there to carry me through when I could not.
Wonder and awe . . . at all the people that Jason is still touching.
Sadness . . . that there even has to be a milestone.
Peace . . . that I know comes only from my heavenly Father.
Happiness . . . for all the wonderful memories.
All these mixed together create an almost euphoric feeling that washes over me. It carries me through. Sometimes I wonder if I should be feeling this good, I have to stop myself and remind myself that these feelings are feelings. Just that. Not right or wrong, they just are. So today I will bathe in this feeling, enjoy it while it lasts.
I will smile, I will be happy, I will be peaceful, as I remember Jason.