Milestones

There is a feeling I get, that I can’t identify,  when I have survived a milestone.

There are so many emotions wrapped into it, I am not sure it has a name.

Relief . . . that I got through it with out a melt down. I don’t mean crying, by melt down I mean having to be carted off some where and medicated. 🙂

Thankfulness and gratitude . . .  for friends and family that have been there to carry me through when I could not.

Wonder and awe . . . at all the people that Jason is still touching.

Sadness . . . that there even has to be a milestone.

Peace . . . that I know comes only from my heavenly Father.

Happiness . . . for all the wonderful memories.

All these mixed together create an almost euphoric feeling that washes over me. It carries me through. Sometimes I wonder if I should be feeling this good, I have to stop myself and remind myself that these feelings are feelings. Just that. Not right or wrong, they just are. So today I will bathe in this feeling, enjoy it while it lasts.

I will smile, I will be happy, I will be peaceful, as I remember Jason.

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