The challenge to listen to some of the music that I listened to in high school took me back quickly. My favorite was Eric Clapton’s “All By Myself”. I was into the sad, dark ballads about love lost. I think, that if it had been in style back then, I would have been “goth” or “emo”. I wrote dark poetry, and sad stories. I don’t really know why, I felt alone in my family. My parent’s were loving and caring, but I still longed for something. I looked for “it” in bad relationships, and never found it.
I eventually grew out of it, but it took me years. I married still looking for “it”, and we all know that another person can not ever be “it”. Indeed, he was not “it”. But I got my wonderful children from that experience, and would not change that for the world. I have amazing children, (they are adults now). The experience of my divorce forced me to realize that I needed to be happy and satisfied with myself before I could find happiness with another. I was happily single for 23 years when my life took a dramatic turn. I left a job that I had held for 23 years, I took a month long trip to Brazil, I took a job where I supervised 12 very skilled people. It was a scary, exciting time for me. I also met the love of my life, the man that I will spend the rest of my life with. I will grow old with this man, and I know that the roads my life took, led me through many experiences so that I would be ready for this man.
I have grown from a dark, sad teenager, to a happy, loving adult, who is right now this moment, listening to “I am so Blessed” by Martina McBride.